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When you start dating someone you're really excited about, it's easy to start daydreaming about the amazing life you'll have together. But before you can even reach that point, you'll need to successfully navigate through fun yet sometimes awkward "getting to know you" phase. According to experts, there are some things you can do to make the most out of the getting to know you phase so your relationship can get to the next level.
Asking questions to get to know someone can add a bit of excitement to that awkward phase.
Everything is fresh and exciting. It feels good, and we like to feel good.
But eventually, you move past the honeymoon phase and get into the day-to-day of having a real relationship and the responsibility it entails. Maybe they can help you, too.
40 fun getting to know you questions
Asking questions is the key part to getting to know someone. In the very beginning stages of dating, like the first month or so, I was very dedicated to getting to know the person. But there came a certain point and once I realized I liked them, I stopped asking questions.
It was like some sort of arbitrary switch got flipped in my head and I stopped actively vetting them and trying to get to know them. I like to listen to people and I prefer the spotlight to be on them. To hold myself able, I keep a note in my phone of questions I want to ask my partner — either to learn something about them or to hear their response or get their take on something — and I make sure to insert some of these questions chatting and getting to know you our conversations.
So having that note to remind me of my talking points keeps me grounded when my head wants to fly up into the clouds. I always put off having the big conversations about future plans, expectations of my partner, how they express love and affection, and things of that sort.
10 perfect questions to ask on the first date to really get to know someone
But delaying the conversation was only to my detriment. Kat Cole helped me to feel more comfortable talking about the hard stuff and the important stuff.
Cole is a badass boss who is best known for her grit and hustle that allowed her to rise through the ranks from Hooters waitress to the executive she is today. She writes about how to be our best selves at work — and in our relationships. Cole has monthly check-ins with her husbandcomplete with agendas and talking points.
Go beyond the surface layer and find out who you’re really with.
They discuss their triumphs and losses of the last thirty days, and what they can do for each other to be a better and more effective partner, along with a list of about seven other questions deed to allow them reflect on their relationship together. The goal of these check-ins is to dive deep and take the time to give and get feedback, in order to grow and improve as a partner and as a human.
But going out is an important and formative part of a relationship. Existing in society with your partner and seeing how they act in the real world and how they interact with other people is an important part of getting to know someone. Treat every date like a first date.
Try to learn something new about your partner, too. Ask them a random or silly question. Try to discover what makes them tick. These things are the big three that will help you get to know someone beyond just the surface layer of their personality.
7 ways to make the most of the ‘getting to know you’ phase of the relationship
Keep feeding the relationship with questions, dates, and conversations — and it will grow into something beautiful. Medium is an open platform where million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Learn more. If you have a story to tell, knowledge to share, or a perspective to offer — welcome home.
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How to — really — get to know the person you’re dating
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