You need ice breakers, light-hearted queries, questions that provoke banter, laughter, and thought, as well as questions that dig a bit deeper and go beyond the superficial. Read on. Your future dates depend on it. It promotes a good back-and-forth between the two of you. Better yet, her reason will be incredibly telling.
Is it the money, the impact, the enjoyment? Each of these explanations reveals something about her character. If things get a bit awkward or serious, divert to a more carefree topic. Everyone loves to laugh, and talking about the things that make you both fall into a fit—cheesy pickup lines, dad jokes, a particular YouTube flick—gets the conversation flowing… and both of you laughing. Lots of laughter on a first date is a greatJones says. This conversation starter can bring a light, playful, untethered feeling into your mix of questions, Jones says.
If you want the conversation to become a bit reflective, thoughtful, and meaningful, this is a great fall-back. And who knows, maybe you went to the same camp or vacation spot each summer. Good: You can see if she has a tight bond with her parents or siblings. Waiting to be seated at your table or for your waiter to arrive? Break the ice with a simple, straight-forward question like this.
Those fun intelligent flirty convo over lunch details and what she chooses to focus on—whether good or bad—clue you in on her personality big time. This may seem a bit odd and specific, but how she likes to travel is sometimes even more telling than where she likes to travel. Does she only stay in five-star resorts?
Is she into sustainable locales? Is she a bargain traveler?
Is she up for camping and RVing? Some say you never truly know someone until you travel with them. Let one question lead to another. Food is always a safe topic of conversation—and an endless one, too.
Her interests are reflected in what she likes to watch on a daily basis. Does she only watch educational shows? Is she all about news or talk shows? Is she an absolute reality show junkie? Ask her how she spends her free time!
Is she on the road to self-improvement and fun intelligent flirty convo over lunch re to better herself and her career, or does she read for pleasure? Get into a conversation about what inspires her. Unless she moved around a lot as a kid this should spark questions, tooasking whether she still talks to friends from childhood will reveal how she values relationships and loyalty. Catching her off guard is a good thing so long as your intentions are innocent and playful. Light-hearted questions like this one can stir up memories from her childhood.
Is she a thrill-seeker or a free spirit? You can see if your personalities and interests jive, too. Ask about the little things that drive her nuts. It might seem super particular, but her morning routine is hugely revealing. Does she wake up, get ready, and rush to work with minutes to spare? Does she wake up, lounge around, read a newspaper, then get ready for work? Or does she meditate, go for a six-mile run, shower, and make a gourmet breakfast before heading out the door? These scenarios are snapshots of three incredibly different people and personality types.
Maybe she leaves the TV on when she sleeps or likes to eat ice cream with fun intelligent flirty convo over lunch fork. This gives you a chance to see if she has any quirks that are endearing… or a turn off. This question can go the trivial or serious route.
Try both. Yes, this is a popular first-date question, but for good reason. Go ahead and ask the basic questions about how many siblings she has and how big her extended family is and let the answers lead to deeper, more meaningful ones. It shows you care and are invested in learning who she is from her roots and where she came from.
This may or may not be the same person she spends the most time with, but both people are obviously key to who she is. This is a ballsy question, so use your discretion. In the right context, though, it can let her clear the air or dispel any frustrating assumptions people make about her. This question gives you major brownie points for being clever. You can see how her brain works and how clever she is, too!
Ask her what skills she wants to acquire or hone in her career and life in general. Like some of the other questions on this list, feel out the conversation and only ask this one if the moment feels right as it could make her feel uncomfortable.
Try to slip it in to conversation if she mentions a career path she could have gone down or a trip of a lifetime she never took. Just tread lightly. Likewise, what she studied in school may not be her dream career anymore. This is a fun way to pick her brain and get her talking about what her interests and passions are.
You can use this question as a preface or follow up to No. Both of you get the floor to speak about your childhood. Ask her what her yearbook quote was. A little banter is a good that your humor is in sync. You want positive vibes only on a date. By posing this question, you get her thinking about some of the best times in her life.
Sure, it might be a little embarrassing, but the stories behind the nickname will make for perfect, light-hearted conversation. Share a funny story at your own expense first. When you ask the right questions—even ones as simple as this—it can unveil a goldmine of information. See what talents she admires. It can also open the idea of trying something new together—like cooking—on a second date. If she has plans to move to Toronto next year, she might not be in a place in her life where a long-term relationship is feasible. Instead of asking her if she works out, see what her favorite physical activities are instead.
If you could hop on a plane right now, where would you go? What are you most passionate about? What sort of things make you laugh out loud? If work was no longer an option and you had plenty of money, what would you do all day?
What do you like most about living here? Who do you talk to the most? How did you spend your day? Would you go on a cross-country road trip? In a new city, what attraction do you have to visit first?
Don't ask them what they do for a living.
What are 5 things you want to accomplish before you die? What is your favorite dish to cook? What are your favorite sports? What are some of your favorite TV shows? What did you do last weekend?
Try these at your own risk.
What kind of books do you like to read? Who has been the most influential person in your life? Do you still keep in touch with childhood friends? If you were stranded on an island and could take three things with you, what would they be?