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Communication is a really important part of any relationship, sexual or not. So ask questions and speak up! Letting your boyfriend or girlfriend know that you respect their boundaries and feelings will make it easier for them to talk to you.

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It might be awkward at first, but opening up about your needs and desires can transform your relationship. S ex is a life-affirming act, one of the most intimate things you can do with another person. But talking about it? So much harder.

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Talking with your partner about sex

Story from Relationship Advice. Talking about sex is hard. Telling the person you love that you're not happy with your sex life is even harder.

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In fact, it might feel impossible to start a conversation about all the things you don't like about having sex with your partner. You might feel that airing your dislikes will make your partner feel i want to have sex chator like you don't love them anymore — and that's not necessarily true.

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Instead, disappointment in your sex life usually means that you and your partner aren't communicating your needs and desires clearly. Couples who are struggling with their sex lives often sweep the issues under a rug, precisely because they feel that talking about it will make their partner angry or sad, Vikki StarkM.

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So how do you get past the fear and talk honestly with your partner? First, remind yourself that you and your partner love each otherand having an honest conversation will only make your bond stronger.

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As long as there aren't other problems in your relationship, such as lack of respect or emotional abusetalking openly about what you want from sex shouldn't be a problem — as long as you're kind about it. Don't go into the conversation angry and don't play the blame game. At its core, talking about sex is just like any other difficult discussion you have with a partnereven though it might feel more fraught.

As with any other disagreement, it's important to talk to each other like you're on the same team, rather than fighting your own side.

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Can we talk about this? Maybe you feel that your partner has stopped imitating sex, and that makes you feel less desirable. Your feelings are totally valid, but it won't help to yell and accuse your S. Instead, use "we" statements and be clear about how you're feeling.

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You can say something like, "We don't have sex as much as we used to, and that makes me feel like you aren't attracted to me anymore. The same format works with anything else you're missing from your sex life. If you want rougher sexor softer sex, or are considering an open relationship ; no matter what it is, the best way to talk about changing your sex life with your partner is to lay out your desires and ask if they'd be down.

I don’t know how to talk to my partner about sex

If you do it right, you can even make the conversation sexy as hell. Having "the talk" about wanting to spice up your sex life doesn't have to be an awkward and stiff affair and neither does asking for consent, fyi.

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A discussion about sexual desires can be seductive if you frame it correctly. Say something like, "'I was thinking of what it would be like if you just kissed me like [this] for a really long time.

Could we try that? So stop sweeping your sexual desires and disappointments under the rug, because nothing is going to get better unless you talk about it. Upgrading your sex toy game just got more affordable.

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