Talking dirty always seems so easy in the movies or porn for that matterbut actually putting it into practice How should I say it?
Any of these thoughts sound familiar? Rachel Wright, L. T, a marriage and family therapist in New York City says she hears these concerns from her clients all the damn time.
Plenty of women are eager to give it a go, but struggle with dirty talk block. If you want to try talking dirty, there are plenty of ways to do it without feeling too awkward. As with any new sex act you'd like to explore—whether it's trying anal for the first time or experimenting with sex toys—it's a good idea to give your partner a head's up that dirty talk is something you want to do. Try initiating the convo while you're, say, cozied up on the couch post-movie—not in the bedroom—by simply asking partners what turns them talking dirty for beginners, or what they like about the porn they watch.
This could not only help you avoid an awk situation, but it may even serve as some sexy foreplay. And talking about your interest in dirty talk is particularly important if one partner is interested in using degrading dialogue, McDevitt says. Reading racy books aloud to one another will help build your dirty vocabulary but buffer the awkwardness of pulling phrases out of thin air, McDevitt says.
Using a fun game can take some of the pressure off coming up with your ideas out of thin air, and help you hones your sexy communication skills, says McDevitt. Dirty talk can, of course, start before you see your partner—or heck, even meet him or her. Early in a relationship, start cautiously with more playful than dirty comments or emojis, recommends Wright.
Unlike X-rated photos, voice memos are pretty low-risk, Nasserzadeh says. Getting turned on just thinking about your last rendezvous with your lover? Need some hand-holding yourself?
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Use all your senses to make observations, Wright adds. Cultural differences, past experiences, the current political climate, and plenty of other factors can play into how a partner takes your attempt at dirty talk.
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